Hello There!

#239 - Gracias

Sun, 18 Jun 2017 18:02:29 +0000

Mexican Valeria Torres joins us this week for a discussion of Swedish customs and stereotypes, and to drink copious amounts of Mezcal!

#237 - There Is No Eden, Blastoise

Fri, 12 May 2017 11:59:11 +0000

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In a world where everyone falls under the umbrella of GAMER, and NERD culture is the same as POP culture, what place does nostalgia hold? Adventures in replaying Pokémon Yellow leads to a dystopic nightmare where E-sports stars get their arms sawed off. (Let's Play a Game, as Jigsaw said.) We don't know where this will lead, but for now we are only happy that it's-a-live! Even if it took a thunderbolt or two...

#235 - Scandinavia Club

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 18:11:52 +0000

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Speculation about the decline of the Roman Empire (which apparently started in year 235 according to some people) leads us to wonder what a Scandinavian Union would look like, and how it might operate. Then Anders talks about the EU for a long while and I proceed to yell at him about sushi. Good times.

The alternative title for this episode is Tiny Dishes, Tiny Minds.

Cover image by DOCK 57.

#233 - Common Demon Problems

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 11:27:35 +0000

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We've been dealing with some demonic issues lately, and check in to see if this happens to everyone. It does, right? RIGHT?!

#231 - Smoothie Secrets

Tue, 28 Mar 2017 12:50:30 +0000

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In this podcast episode we discuss the hidden secrets of smoothie making, how to make the best fruit smoothies in the galaxies, what ingredients to use, which fruit keep their flavour best, and also we break down language barriers and invent a new Vasaloppet race.

#229 - You Take The Banana

Sat, 04 Mar 2017 16:53:36 +0000

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What are the Chinese most known for? Is the answer FOOD? Sure, Sweden has no food culture, and we unimaginatively name dishes after what they are made of, but that doesn't mean you should go crazy and start burning cook books, Anders! Dollop.

#227 - How To Deal With Nazis

Fri, 17 Feb 2017 16:14:48 +0000

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How to deal with Nazis should be a joke or a history lesson but sadly it is not. This week we sit down to discuss how to deal with Nazis AND door-knocking religious people... Don't worry though, we still get some jokes in! We've retired the Nazi bell because it would be deafening at this point. Oh and also Jakob is a soberist now, which is not a word but yeah you get it.

#225 - How To Marry Severus Snape

Sun, 29 Jan 2017 03:10:38 +0000

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Severus Snape has gotten married a thousand times or so in fanfiction, and we go through a few of those. Who is the luckiest bride, Lily Evans or Harry Potter? Well Snape/Harry is predictably more popular, but what about Super Mario, does he get in on the fun?! In this episode of Hello There, the Harry Potter Review and Fanfiction Podcast, we discuss plot holes in the Harry Potter books and whether they should be filled by nose snot-nosed brats online, and we wonder if good old H.P. will make it to Mars! We also read fanfiction a lot.

#223 - Candalf

Sun, 15 Jan 2017 20:05:30 +0000

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Anders read a terrible translation of The Hobbit and for years he thought that Gandalf was called Candalf. Obviously we are able to fill up about half a show with this. We also discuss sexuality and hey who doesn't love to hear two white doods talk about that, so come one, come all!

#221 - Assassin's Horse

Fri, 30 Dec 2016 21:44:55 +0000

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What if your favourite video game featured horses more prominently? Yes that's actually what we talk about in this episode...

MOST DEAD PEOPLE AWARD: What human conflicts have caused the most death?
SCIENCE OR MAGIC: Never both!!
FLAT EARTHERS: They're all over the globe! ;)

#219 - Ideas Are Cheap

Sat, 17 Dec 2016 23:54:28 +0000

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We went to visit the UK, and saw fantastic sights such as fellow podcasters Regular Features and Electric Six!

INSPIRATION IS OVERRATED: Work is everything.
10 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT BRIGHTON: We get through the list eventually.
CONTINENTAL: Why are we always throwing up in the fanciest of places?

#217 - Pastagram

Fri, 02 Dec 2016 12:00:00 +0000

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Instascrap? Scrapstagram? Instanalog?

ODE TO A FORGOTTEN FORMAT: Anders ordered a bunch of CDs might as well sit and jerk off in a pile of casette tapes at this point.
9/10 OF THE LAW: Percieved value and ownership when it comes to creative stuff.
THE EDGE OF SCRAPBOOKING: Here are some nice scrapbook ideas and also an explanation of what the heck we're talking about!

#215 - Ghost Murder

Fri, 18 Nov 2016 02:04:51 +0000

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Shut up it's a good name for a folk punk band.

CAN YOU DIE FROM A COLD: Well anders must be close because he decided not to go to work due to illness which has definitely never happened.
ONLINE IMPROV: We discuss how to grab people, content concepts and velocity, and how to bring the audience with you.
GHOST MURDER: Get ready for the folk punk legends of tomorrow!

#213 - The One Where They Talk Game Of Thrones

Fri, 28 Oct 2016 12:00:00 +0000

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In this episode we talk about Game of Thrones season 6 and absolutely nothing else. I'm sorry, we didn't mean to do this, it just sort of happened. We go through Anders' reactions and the storylines, and I explain some details that Anders may have, um, overlooked a little bit. Like about certain people's parents for example.

#211 - Dónde Está El Sueco?

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 01:40:28 +0000

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One of our hosts went to Mexico so that's pretty much all we talk about.

PYRAMIDS: Seriously though, they are lousy with pyramids.
EL SUECOS: Tougher than you'd think, apparently. Spice- and alcohol-wise.
BLOOD STONES AND SUCH: From Mexico to Mexica to old men playing pipe organs, let's walk through this country together.

#209 - Nawanos

Sat, 03 Sep 2016 19:40:09 +0000

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What do you mean "technical difficulties"? There are no "technical difficulties" here.

HOSTEL FOR DEMON: Is it even a body anymore? No, it is a collection of curses.
NAW BRAH: We got plans, plans that involve latin sorcery, and not the Harry Potter kind!
HARDHOME: Anders has watched season 5 of Game of Thornes and this is the longest Hello There in 200 episodes because Anders wouldn't stop talking about Hardhome.

#207 - Train Nation

Sat, 20 Aug 2016 16:27:32 +0000

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This episode contains an above average amount of train-based propaganda.

THE HANGING WINDMILL: Did you know that the Wild West was extremely dirty? Oh, you did? It's like the most obvious thing about the Wild West, you say? Well did you also know that it was full of murderers??
A BRIEF HISTORY OF BATHS: Who came up with "swimming" anyway?
EAT YOUR HORSE, RIDE A TRAIN: Horses VS trains, there can only be one!

#205 - Full Roll

Sat, 06 Aug 2016 20:27:27 +0000

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This week we talk about the Pride parade and Classic Car Week and other things too wooo.

RAIN ON YOUR PARADE: So that whole Pride thing worked out! Mostly!
STAIRS: Is Jakob the villain? I mean he usually is but right now is he?!
GAME OF THRONES S3-4: Anders has caught up on seasons 3 and 4, so let's do this shizz! Spoilers abound!

#203 - Indiemon GoGo

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 11:19:57 +0000

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Your one stop for hilarious and timely Pokémon Go jokes, yup can't find those jokes anywhere else we're the only ones talking about this game.

PANHANDLING: Please give me lots of your money at generosity.com/emergencies-fundraising/i-can-t-play-pokemon-go-please-help
HOKUS POKUS: Jakob went to a clown show.
GAME OF THRONES S1-2: Anders has finally watched some Game of Thrones so we discuss it! We give a huge spoiler warning but honestly we barely talk any spoilers at all, except mentioning a big thing that happens near the end of season 1.

#201 - Welcome To The Consolate

Fri, 08 Jul 2016 14:12:14 +0000

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We know you're sick and tired of hearing of it by now, but we recorded this podcast super early, right in the heat of the moment, so just indulge us, okay?

BREXIT: Yeah so it's a thing.
THE U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL: Obviously this is equally big and important news. Oh you don't know what's happened? Don't worry we got you covered.
A STRONG FOUR: We talk about The Banner Saga 2 and other video games.

#199 - Imam Let You Finish

Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:23:16 +0000

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It's mostly about war this time.

VIETNAM WAR: Oh no Anders has been watching documentaries again.
WORLD WAR III: Well why not kick things up a notch already?
BREXIT PART ONE: Here are some timely predictions from back when everyone was wrong about what was about to happen.

#197 - Avocado

Sat, 04 Jun 2016 12:46:09 +0000

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Maybe it should be spelled Auchvochado, but you get the idea...

THE BIGGEST CARROT IN HISTORY: What is Anders talking about?
A HOME IN THE WILD: Anders got lost in the woods and decided to stay.
90 KM COMPETITION: Would it even be a competition? Why would we do this? Would some BDSM sweeten the pot?

By the way, Sound of Noise was the name of the film we bumbled on about near the end.

#195 - The Journeyman

Fri, 20 May 2016 17:54:57 +0000

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Are you a cook or a chef? What do you want to be?

WEBSTER VS OXFORD: Dictionary more like hiptionary am I right
THE MOST AVERAGE GUITAR PLAYER IN THE GALAXY: Creativitiy and music and talent.
A TALE OF SEVEN SAUNAS: Learn how to talk to strangers in saunas! Most importantly, make sure you lie to them about fish. That is essential.

#193 - Stranger Than Fiction

Fri, 06 May 2016 12:00:00 +0000

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You may notice that this episode is shorter than usual, but we make up for the loss of quantity with extra quality!

YEAR OF THE FIVE EMPERORS: You can't have NO gladiator games, let's not crazy here.
HISTORICAL MOVIES: What's good and bad about it?
DIE HARD: We get into the story of H. H. Holmes, one of the first proper serial killers, who built a maze-like murder hotel and killed like 200 people in it.

#191 - Dickyleaks

Fri, 22 Apr 2016 16:09:47 +0000

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Disclaimer: We look up the biggest statues in the world and our list was 100 % incorrect, as any tiny amount of research proves. Shame on me I guess, because apparently I was reading a list of "various notable statues". To be fair I don't see why you'd put that on an article titled "List of the highest statues". I mean put that shit on "approximate list of approximately notable statues" or something. But whatever.

THUNDERWATCH 2016: Learn about Indestruckable, the popular new super hero.
BIGGEST STATUES/DICKS: The two most important questions facing today's society.
KUDOS TO COMMODUS: Yeah we talk about Emperor Commodus a lot this episode.

#189 - The Death Favour

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 12:46:47 +0000

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How many times can your pal ask for help with burying a dead body before it becomes socially unacceptable?

MOST EXPENSIVE JEANS: Anything can be expensive if you put hella diamonds on it!
PARKING TICKETS: Anders is a rebel, he doesn't live/park within your lines, society!
FAVOURTISM: Apparently you can't accept a favour without swearing by the blood and honour of your clan or some shit.

#187 - Speed 2: Cruise Control

Fri, 18 Mar 2016 18:32:23 +0000

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In which we discuss a movie we hate and a show that we love.

CRUISE CONTROL: This is your one and only spoiler warning... Because yeah we basically go through the whole movie and take apart why it is the worst.
UNACCEPTABLE: Anders has not completed his mission.
RICK AND MORTY: Go watch season 2 of Rick and Morty and then listen to the second half of this episode, which is also available separately at awesomepedia.org/showswhatyouknow.

#185 - Panda VS Human

Fri, 04 Mar 2016 18:45:43 +0000

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Welcome to my bunker, Wife Seven, I hope you'll enjoy your stay. Oh, what? Yeah that's your new name, don't worry about it...

REALM OF UNCERTAINTY: That shaky feeling you get when you think too much.
THE ENVIRONMENT: Just don't think about it, Anders. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.
WHAT ANIMALS COULD YOU KILL: It's just a matter of time before the alien overlords order a tournament between the species, so we'd better get ready.

#183 - Hamen

Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:46:01 +0000

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"If you say it enough many times it becomes established words in the society."

HIP TO BE SQUARE: Anders had a drawing exercise this week to design three characters, each based on a dominant shape, square, triangle and circle.
HAMEN: We go through some local home-cooked sayings and expressions!
HOW ARE YOU GONNA DIE: And who's gonna fertilize the ground if we're not down there being dirt?!

Here are the drawings Anders made: Circle Dog, Triangle Admiral, Square Man. We talked about it more after recording the show, throwing ideas back and forth and here is some fan art that Jakob doodled to underline the shapes – and here's another iteration.

#181 - Do You Have Any Negative Qualities

Sat, 06 Feb 2016 21:58:56 +0000

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Did we tell you that Anders is the new village elder?

JOB INTERVIEWS: Hey here's job interview tips from two incredibly employed guys.
ICELAND: If you're leaving the village you may as well leave the country.
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW 6: For the final time we delve into the world of Heroes Reborn!

#179 - Where's the Lion?

Thu, 21 Jan 2016 23:41:58 +0000

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Someone stole Anders' phone and has been using it to sell lions. Like, do I even need to write anything more at this point? I'm pretty sure I can't say anything more tempting than that.

PHONE SCANDAL: Why does Anders feel bad about this? Because it is amazzing.
POST-FRAT-BOY: Oh and also Anders finished his god damn education! Finally!
NANOWRIMO 2.0: Okay so NaNoWriMo is over when Jakob says it's over, and apparently it's over when he's worked himself to death. Come hear him babble about writing and creativity as usual.

#177 - Bite The Lightning

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:57:46 +0000

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Welcome to 2016! Here's an ass in your face! The Ass of Everyday!

GOOFING IN THE NEW YEAR: By the way, we totally forgot to talk about the last party we went to... Yes, there was an additional party, but I didn't really remember it until I checked my phone camera so yeah. A good evening, obviously.
NOSTALGIA FOR EXPLOSIONS: How many blown off fingers is a child's smile worth?
FEAR: Anders is full of it. What can we do about it? Roller Coaster Sunday!

Anders' drawing exercise!

#175 - Horse Armour

Fri, 18 Dec 2015 22:01:10 +0000

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Please keep in mind that we actually know pretty much nothing about horse armour.

LONDON TOWN IS THE ONLY TOWN: Jakob's been to England and he brings back tales!
IMPERIAL WAR: Not to break anyone's mind or nothing, but the holocaust was really bad.
CHASING THAT BRAIN BUZZ: We talk of how to feel good about what you make and remember to LIKE AND SUBCJDRBISE TODAYY

#173 - Damn Tidelanders!

Fri, 27 Nov 2015 18:08:05 +0000

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ADVENTURECAST, yeah baby, it's an adventure! Come with us deep into the Tidelands!

LISTEN UP, STUDENTS: We're all getting grey hores on our heads, but calm down; Anders is almost done with his education and offers some advice for aspiring university students.
WORST ADVENTURERS EVER: NaNoWriMo talk leads to some god damn top notch improv as we turn this, quite by accident, into a roleplaying podcast.
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW 5: A brief discussion on episodes 9 and 10 of Heroes Reborn.

#171 - NaNoWriMo

Fri, 13 Nov 2015 00:21:05 +0000

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That guy has no pelvis kthxbai.

NANOWRIMO: Jakob's doing National Novel Writing Month. Will this novel be better than what he wrote at Nano 8 years ago?? (Probably not.)
A JOURNEY TO THE US OF A: Anders wants to tell everyone about ghosts; Jakob wants a room full of ghosts captured in jars. That is the big difference between us, really.
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW 4: Great Scottu! It's time for another brief (I promise) discussion of episodes 7 and 8 of Heroes Reborn.

#169 - Rebels Drink Pepsi

Thu, 29 Oct 2015 23:37:38 +0000

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We map the history of the internet this past decade; the shift towards large corporations, the destruction of the wild west that we knew and loved.

#BOYCOTTSTARWARS: Uuuuuggghhhh...
IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT: The internet; where did we come from, where are we going?
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW 3: Strap in for more talk about Heroes Reborn. Yeah I know, you're sick of it, we're all sick of it, but we have no choice, neither do you.

#167 - What Would Frank Underwood Do?

Fri, 16 Oct 2015 16:02:37 +0000

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Swedish politics AND Heroes Reborn discussed in one and the same episode?? Wow, we are really going on a thrilling ride with this one let me tell you.

COWBOY POLITICS: The December Agreement has collapsed! Does anyone care?!
HOUSE OF CARDS: With wild west politics in full effect, we can only hope and pray for a corrupt evil genius to come along and save us all.
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW 2: We talk about episodes 3 and 4 of Heroes Reborn. This segment is also available at awesomepedia.org/showswhatyouknow.

#165 - Shows What You Know

Thu, 01 Oct 2015 22:36:07 +0000

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This week we're starting a new thing called Shows What You Know! You can, if you want, get the new bit as a separate download over at awesomepedia.org/showswhatyouknow.

FALUN PRIDE: Yeah we have pride, even here in Dalarna. Let's talk about it.
LET'S WATCH: Shows with people watching shows blows Anders' mind. Speaking of which...
SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW: This is a new thing where we talk about television. In this premiere instalment we talk about episodes 1 and 2 of Heroes Reborn. It got pretty long but whatever!

#163 - Pipe Spinning

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 20:44:45 +0000

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This week Anders updates us on his "get up at five in the morning and do meaningless things" experiment. Yeah, I don't understand it either, but it doesn't matter – Anders loves a hater.

THE DRAKE OF PODCASTS: Let's talk real quick about how we're the best. Except today.
THE 100: Let's talk about some television that we don't hate, for once.
BASIC STORY STUFF: Talking about the sliding scale of predictability and absurdity leads us into red herrings, Chekhov's gun, pipe spinning, and other popular terms that everyone knows and uses a lot.

#161 - The City of Lights

Fri, 04 Sep 2015 21:39:13 +0000

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After a top-notch Ronda concert and some northern lights we were extra pumped for podcasting.

KNIGHTS OF MANPOWER: Today we're joined by Johan W, the modern day Edward Tesla. He (eventually) tells us what it's like working with – you guessed it – Tesla coils.
METEOR SHOWERS VS NORTHERN LIGHTS: Do you ever look up at the night sky, bro?
THE 10,000 HOUR MYTH: Another patented Jakob Burrows motivational speech. This is the video we were talking about by the way.

#159 - Where Dreams Come True

Sun, 09 Aug 2015 16:13:23 +0000

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You want podcast? We got podcast! This episode marks the return of former (and current?!) show member Carl/Calle. Listen to the end for the first instalment of On The Road With Carl.

DREAMS ARE DUMB: A subconscious pitch for a movie where Spider-Man and Kingpin eat ice cream on the pier leads to us taking apart why being a mindreader would be terrible. Unless you were reading Anders' mind maybe.
MAKING THE CRAP: It's the hardest part of any creative process. Anders was going to be drawing a lot this summer – how is that going? Was it all talk?! (Yes.)
ANTI WALTER WHITE: Get your finances in order! Have you sorted out your pension?!

#157 - Tony Potatoheart

Fri, 24 Jul 2015 12:08:21 +0000

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The episode where we talk smack about everyone who has ever been on the show.

WOW YOU STILL DO THAT: A new review from an old listener sparks a retrospective where we lift away the kimono and allow you a peek inside the inner workings of the show.
SECRET COMPETITIONS: They are the basis of all society, and the reason you look at "happy people" and hate them. (Everyone does that, right? It can't just be me...)
PASTA VS RICE VS POTATO: The ultimate battle of ultimate cookery.

#155 - It's Robin Hood I Want

Fri, 10 Jul 2015 16:29:11 +0000

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We've been to an archery range so of course our brains are buzzing with bows and arrows. Why does Jakob hate talented people? What would we do in the apocalypse? (Die immediately.)

WINKING 101: Jakob manipulates Anders' eye-lids, feeling his eyeballs move underneath and oh god so gross. We also explore Anders' body in other fun ways.
PULL WITH YOUR BACK: Let us tell you how and when and why to archer.
PRIME VS. ZOOM: So you want to be a photo-type person? Hope you're looking forward to spending all your money on lenses forever.

#153 - Subversive Social Media

Fri, 26 Jun 2015 14:24:54 +0000

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Midsummer again! Aagh! This junk again!? With the costumes and the fiddles? Oh okay fine let's do it. Join us this week to find out about the Swedish crusades (no, not the ones you're thinking of), and we also puzzle out the origins of the Swedish flag – and why the dalahäst is a much better national symbol.

STOCKHOLM BLOODBATH: As always, we start with a quick history lesson. Actually I wrote that as a joke but then I realized that we actually do that every week so yeah.
A DALA HORSE SKULL: Come learn our one-step guide to crafting a unique online persona. Here's a hint – it involves throwing up. Also more history.
SUNSCREEN: Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen (except Anders)).

#151 - Describing in Negatives

Thu, 11 Jun 2015 23:23:04 +0000

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Sweden's had it's National Day again and again no one really noticed or cared. Except us! Except you! Except Google!

PATRIOTISM: Racist assholes occupy huge chunks of our cultural heritage – what parts do we need to reclaima? What parts DON'T we need to reclaima? And will Anders EVER pass through a subway barrier without flinching?
IMPRESSIONISM: Anders has finally finished his stupid thing so we're done with that. In the end it's probably a great thing that he's been forced to slightly diverge from his usual impressionistic way of reading text.
PIXARISM: There hasn't been a lot of video content coming out of the Awesomepedia factory these past few years. Is that about to change...?

#149 - Actually an Arachnid

Fri, 29 May 2015 12:00:00 +0000

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Anders is using words like "social construct"; he's been hanging out with too many liberals, or maybe he's a fascist, it's actually hard to tell. Jakob, of course, is a capitalist who wants your iPods.

CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF: You say tomato; I say I'll see you in court! You say "we're human beings and want to be treated as such"; I say "mutants must be registered, you monster"!
DISSERTATION: University level science is a farce. Or is it a bowl of rice?
CAT PERSON OR DOG PERSON: It's a trick question.

#147 - Fanzine VS Francine

Fri, 15 May 2015 12:00:00 +0000

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Remember to not describe in negatives and that "funny" is not the same as "fun".

SIS2015: Jakob is back from Stockholm International Comics Festival where he filled up on thoughts and gin! We talk zines, vinyls, and delve into the history of CD, for some reason.
POOR LITTLE NERD: Look at Anders, nailing himself to the cross of education over here. Pfft.
WE'RE ALL IN BANDS: Let's have some reviews, from VANT to James Holden to Hollie McNish.

#145 - The Rainbow Bridge

Fri, 01 May 2015 12:00:00 +0000

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This was recorded two weeks ago but is only up now because of our lifestyle choices. Hope you enjoy!

FLASHBACK: Netflix made a new Daredevil show! So of course talking about that leads to Anders telling lies about the past, and we need to go have a look in a few flashbacks.
INSIDE ANDERS: Favourite colour, food, weather, book... You know, things you always wanted to know about Anders! This is absolutely not because we have nothing else to talk about.
THE ARTIFICAL TIME MATRIX: We're stuck in built in mechanism of accelerating insanity!

#143 - You're Making a Mistake, Cyclops!

Thu, 09 Apr 2015 23:47:42 +0000

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There were no successful TV-shows before Game of Thrones, Anders informs us, so apparently we should all just forget about The Wire, The Sopranos, The Office, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Friends, South Park, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Breaking Bad and Arrested Development. Okay? Okay!

IF THERE'S NO FUNNY HATS IT'S NOT A RELIGION: We talk Mormon stuff and how it makes perfect sense, and get into how Jakob would be the most fundamental book burning priest ever.
FANTASY VS SYFY: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic if you're a total moron. Is Marvel's Thor franchize hella great or hella the worst? Note that we may be biased due to being Swedish and having good taste.
ONE WORD TITLES: We break down new O.W.T.s including Dig, Olympus, Allegiance, Powers, iZombie, Poldark and Younger.

#141 - Crystal Wizard Day

Fri, 20 Mar 2015 00:35:43 +0000

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Sex manipulation, death fear, false spirituality, those might all sound like groovy times to you, but we are here to explain why they are NOT AT ALL GROOVY.

SUN OF JUSTICE: Find out about the Time War that derailed the human race, and how the white male priest class obtained dominance of the planet 5000 years ago. Also Earth has two suns.
INTERMISSION: Anders gives some hard-hitting criticism to the new Drake album/mixtape.
ENGULF ME, CHASM: We dive deeper and learn about GM108x, Galactic Mayan Mind transmission, and Maldek, the lost planet. Jakob also proves that Anders isn't the only person on this podcast who can't speak.

#139 - Sensitive Subjects

Fri, 06 Mar 2015 12:00:00 +0000

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Anders' mouth is broken and so is Jakob's brain, but we're still here to give you, dear listener, your usual audio-punch up the old bracket! (Your bracket is your face.)

THIS IS A BEAT 2: The new mixtape is dropping soon, why not have an exclusive preview?? That was a rhetorical question, you do not have a choice.
ROMANCE IS BORING: Anders breaks down romantic comedies, in musical form, and we take a look at people trying to bring movie genres into television. And why aren't there any shows about mononomy? Sorry - I meant to say - nomononogomy?
COSMOS (NOT THE SHOW): In episode 2 of this podcast we talked extensively about Mars and about Anders' unhealthy obsession with this hunk of rock. Time to revisit the subject.

#137 - Build More Burrows

Thu, 19 Feb 2015 23:51:40 +0000

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The episode where Jakob complains about the lack of slashfic written about us.

BACK(LUND) TO BASICS: Jakob is sick and so Anders gets free rein over improv. We pitch new shows and get into the whole "watching people watching things" thing.
BIRTHDAYS: Water under the bridge. Putrid, poisonous water, gushing under our very foundation.
BREAKING MY ASS: In this week's bash bin Anders explains the plot of popular detective show Mad Men and other shows he hasn't seen.

#135 - They Be Like

Fri, 30 Jan 2015 12:00:00 +0000

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In this episode we be like telling you about the latest hottest drama and comedy television shows. Where do you go for all your up to date TV news BECAUSE I HOPE IT'S HERE

PUNK ROCK PODCASTING: We're on different sides of the country and for all intents and purposes we are recording through two tins and a very long piece of string.
IT'S THE NINETIES: In another game of "guess the one word title" we go through Scorpion, Togetherness, Galavant, Cristela, Empire, Backstrom and - my favourite - Hindsight! (PS: I remember "Galavant" is a word now so don't remind me.)
352: It seems like there's a lot more terrible television being made, but there's also just more shows in general, right? Let's look at the numbers!

#133 - The Bash Bin

Thu, 16 Jan 2014 12:00:00 +0000

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Anders be like...

ANDERS EXPLAINS MOVIES: We start out with our regular recurring bit where Anders explains the plot of a whole bunch of movies he hasn't seen.
SPECIFICALLY: Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Gone With the Wind, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Singing in the Rain, Wizard of Oz and The Godfather.
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO PORRIDGE KIDS: Anders is out in the world, sitting around in jam, making fantastic first impressions. Also Free Willy.

#131 - Portal is the New Black

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 00:59:08 +0000

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Due to recent events we need to take a little time to discuss the political sitation in Sweden. Just pretend like it's the Star Wars senate or something, it's about as interesting.

MEEEH: Let's talk about all the strange "democrats" that pollute our riksdag, as well as our on-again, off-again relationship with elections.
SPELLBINDER: A 90's Australian/Polish science fiction children's show. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE
THE SNOW IS ALWAYS WHITER: As we all know it's cooler to strap one thing to both your feet than to strap one thing to each foot.

#129 - OMG or YA

Fri, 19 Dec 2014 12:00:00 +0000

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Please enjoy listening to this piece of audio art.

OMG OR YA: The part of the show where we ask you if OMG or YA. Play along at home!
ART IS TERRIBLE: Anders says he hates art, but what he actually means is that he hates things that are "artsy" and/or "fartsy".
THE GREEKS: Anders says he hates the Greeks, but what he sort of means is that he hates the ancient Greeks - but what he ACTUALLY means is that he hates his high school teachers.

#127 - Even Better Than Twilight

Fri, 05 Dec 2014 20:37:44 +0000

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Sure, you can fill up a bunch of shows talking about terrible things you've found online, but let's not underestimate the wonders of terrible television and movies.

AMAZING THINGS: We take a look at Indonesian Aladdin, The Girl from Tomorrow and Mirror Mirror (the 90's New Zealand / Australian time travel children's show, of course).
ANDERS HATES HOBBITS: We've got a new angle, I promise!! No, we're NOT just re-hashing the same things over and over I SWEAR WE'RE NOT PETER JACKSONING IT ZIINGG
KEYS TO YOUR BRAIN: It doesn't matter how good or bad taste you think you have - certain media will just hack its way straight into your brainstem, no matter how shitty or wonderful it is.

#125 - Transaladdic

Thu, 20 Nov 2014 23:06:33 +0000

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This week we sail onto thin ice with no life jacket and no ice picks. HELL YEAH LET'S TALK TRANS

A BOY NAMED INGMAR: We had one of those gin and tonic parties and at some point we ran out of tonic... BUT WE DIDN'T RUN OUT OF GIN
A BOY NAMED JASMINE: "Can we talk about Disney's transgender princess?" This might be a rhetorical question but of course the answer is "Yes. Absolutely. At length."
A BOY NAMED ALADDIN: Let's go deeper. There's another level. There's always another level.

#123 - #PILOTSEASON

Fri, 07 Nov 2014 12:00:00 +0000

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This week we get definitive. Is Keanu Reeves a terrible actor or not? Is Anders able to pronounce the word "contributing"? Is Jakob dressed up as Instagram or as a gingerbread man... from the future?

MOONSHINE PONG: Very similar to Beer Pong but a bit more fuzzy.
TITLE: There's a whole new crop of one word title shows and Anders is full of speculation.
IDEAS ARE DUMB: With exciting new hashtag technology we've collected a series of TV pitches.

#121 - #FOODVEMBER

Fri, 24 Oct 2014 12:00:00 +0000

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Anders is boggled by both social media and "the concept of food" so this week we head into the eye of the perfect storm - the food pic. Everyone please let Anders know if you want #foodvember to happen.

DONE WITH TIME TRAVEL: Jakob has seen Looper again and has had enough, thank you.
IT'S YOUR BUSINESS: If Anders had his way facebook would be full of knife tutorials and directions to waterfalls. Possibly instructions of how to build cabins. BUT NEVER RECIPES.
BURNED OR BLAND: Does it take 15 years to learn how to cook a decent meal?

#119 - Phenonomenon

Fri, 10 Oct 2014 00:17:36 +0000

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This week we're joined by Johan who gives us untold insight into the world of near leathal industrial cable production. It's more leathal than you'd think. And remember, kids - if you can smoke it, you can eat it!

WAR ON PHONES: Anders speculates on what phone he would buy if he bought a phone, and on what drugs he would do if he did drugs. Both are equally unlikely.
POWER BALANCE: Can holograms around your wrist make you athletic?!?! (Spoiler alert: No.)
THE OATH: I can't tell you about what we talk about in the rest of the episode. Because of the oath. You have to listen. And take the oath.

#117 - Prequel Patient Zero

Fri, 26 Sep 2014 13:58:10 +0000

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Some day over the rainbow there might be a good prequel! But we're not there yet!

EDGE OF TOMORROW: Tom Cruise only plays parts where he gets to be the baddest badass in the world. He's like the kid who always has to be Batman.
SPEAKING OF WHICH: Jakob watched the first episode of the "television show" Gotham.
MONEY TALKS: Anders explains the Little Mermaid Prequel, the Atlantis Sequel, the Casper Prequel, and we fall back on the fact that most things are terrible.

#115 - Young Sexy Everyone

Thu, 11 Sep 2014 23:26:13 +0000

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Why is everything an adaptation of a reboot of a sequel of a remake of a prequel?

TALKING ABOUT OUR GENERATION: Multiple screens? What?! Yes it's true, Jakob would roll around on a waterbed of iPads if he could, touching all the touchpads with all his touchy bits.
SMALLVILLE BATMAN: Going into that dark uncanny One World Title Valley, we find ourselves in the back alleys of Gotham, running for our lives from these young sexy villains.
BATHROOMS: Sometimes you just gotta kick a bathroom door in, you know?

#113 - Illuminati Facebook

Fri, 29 Aug 2014 00:42:18 +0000

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"I put spices in you!!" Anders screamed at his so-called stew. "Become food now! Be tasteful!"

FIRE: We went to a party, a pirate party, so here is a dubiously informed guide to vegan quisine.
THE CROISSANT ON THE TABLE: Hopefully you're already aquantied with our zero tolerance against one word titles, but since last time about a dozen new god damn one word titles have started, so we go through the list and pitch like crazy.
THE ALGORITHM: Fight the machine, fellow Facebookteers!

#111 - Sour Grapes

Thu, 14 Aug 2014 01:12:56 +0000

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We've decided to release an English episode every other week! But we did two in a row this time in order to sync up with Library 34, so that we release on alternate weeks. Hurrah? Yes: HURRAH INDEED.

HELLO DEAR: We're Swedish! But we speak English? Let's talk differences and expressions that exist in one but not the other. "Don't say hello before you've jumped over the stream!"
SO TO SPEAK: A magical phrase that allows you to pull anything at out of your ass. Various berriers are discussed. What does the orange-furred omnivorous mammal with the bushy tail say?
TO BE OR NOT TO BE: We won a copy of Ryan North's choose your own adventure version of Hamlet off the Pod Your Own Adventure podcast, and decided to play it live on the show.

#110 - Hello There!

Thu, 07 Aug 2014 22:41:34 +0000

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Hello there! This is episode 110 of Hallå Där but maybe also episode 1 of Hello There? Or something? Anyway, we did this one in English and if there's an interest we will do more like it.

WE ARE THE ROBOTS: After a brief discussion on the end of the world, we get into Jakob's Kraftwerk experience in Dalhalla and the local non-existent music scene.
I PRACTICE WITH BOW: Anders was Robin Hood one day. He practice with bow.
A DAY AT THE RACES: Operating a finish line camera is less exciting than you'd think. Except when things go wrong.