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Hip Hop Cannot be Pop

Here's a demo of one of my new tracks for the upcoming THIS IS A BEAT 2 mixtape. I made the beat sampling Sweet Thing by Mick Jagger. Here are the lyrics, including some maybe helpful links:

subject matter doesn't matter
you're just spitting new neo-sullivan patter
but i pity the fools who think they're fatter
cooler, hipper, full of swagger
when their moves are gay, they move like jagger

i'm just here saying "yo it's clear
we're nerds, poets, faggots and queers"
if that hurts, your game ends right here
where everybody knows your name, cheers

so please ridicule me
cause gee in time you'll see
that yes people may well agree
but i'm still so hella kawaii

and when face my cuteness
you're struck by sudden muteness
no bark no bite you're useless
ride you all day like toothless

cause i thought a lot and you thought less
got a simple mind mine's spotless
so don't - don't you forget about me
wrap it up in your dreams: jim carrey

i rap in my sleep, there's always more
get sixteen when you ask for four
you'll hate that they're real wordy too
ask for eight get thirty two

and don't be a cunt if makes you think
laugh in a month cause we're out of sync
and try some new angles when you sit to poo
cause - derivative shit is all you do

for clarity let's sum it up
popularity is not enough
at the top, directions switch
cause hip hop cannot be pop, bitch


and while i make miracles, you sit in the dirt
like fucking maggots, how do they work?

water, fire, earth and air
i'm non-blue avatar, i balance your cares

i'm acting all emo, like orange is the new black
but i'm playing everybody, like orphan black
and i'm directing of course, like orson's back
well hell my mind's got multiple tracks

and you wanna fuck with me then yes that's fine
step right up, here's the punch line
you a shit remake, that's being kind
i'll hit you up on the rewind

how am i this cocky, i am just disc jockey
a dog on two legs, feeling so rocky
i'm just too talky, put no stock in me
please do not try me, just go ahead and knock me
i'm putting on a mask somebody stop me

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Posted September 25th, 2014
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Hello There - in English!

Me and my (mostly) platonic soulmate Anders host a comedy podcast called Hallå Där. We've put up a new episode every week for the past two years. The show can be found at but I've kept it off the start page because all the episodes have been in Swedish.


(Yes, until now.)

Posted September 18th, 2014
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Hourly Comics - September 1

Hourly Comics from September 1st.

Tags: chocolate pimples, rant, sailor moon / phantom of the opera crossover, lunch, eating habits, words of radiance, stove, allergy, dropbox, estonia.

Posted September 10th, 2014
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finding the true earth prince, and new love

Episode six of Library 34. This is a Sailor Moon / Phantom of the Opera crossover. For the uninitiated, "lemon" is a term used to refer to explicitly sexual stories in fanfiction. Now you know more!

"as usagi find ray and mararu in bed together, her mother told her about the inners being evil, and the earth prince as well, but usagi didn't know there was a second earth prince, so her mother transported her and her loyal scouts to the another world where she can find the true earth prince,"

Posted September 4th, 2014
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Hey, at least it's Creative

When I was ten years old me and my two friends started cutting obituaries out of newspapers. We pasted them to cardboard, collected and traded them. We invented a game where higher ages beat lower ages. We couldn't afford Pokemon cards.

In later years I've learned that this led to some "crisis meetings" for the school staff, some of whom were understandably disturbed. Turns out we didn't get told off because two of our teachers were former punk rockers who thought it was brilliant. Obviously they couldn't say that, so instead they used the shrugging defence of "hey, at least it's creative".

Posted August 28th, 2014
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Where is Harry Potter

Episode five of Library 34.

"Where is Harry Potter where on the earth read the story to find out"

Posted June 7th, 1970
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Hourly Comics - August 1

Hourly Comics from August 1st.

Tags: kraftwerk, chapters, finding carter, bad machinery, much ado about nothing, joss whedon, rain, problems, grandmother, script, translation, style.

Posted August 14th, 2014
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The Ballroom at the Edge of the Universe

Episode four of Library 34.

"There is a strange and shimmering ballroom in some space/time allows for all manner of unusual introductions...say Legolas and Alan Rickman (who has his own space time issues like he was born in the Victorian era and may return to his own planet)...but we digress
of couse he finds Legolas stunning and the feeling is retruned as they dance try to puzzle things out ponder wizards and they sneek of to sometining not intirely quite unlike the Room of Requirement..but some things remain consealed."

Posted August 6th, 2014
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Klipp Art

Over the past week or so I've been trying to figure out the really complicated canon of these books I wrote when I was about ten or eleven. The school gave us these books to write stories in but I filled so many that they refused to give me any more. Luckily my mother got in touch with the paper company and made a bulk order, which is the reason I used these as notebooks for ages and ages, filling the last one up earlier this year.

Posted July 31st, 2014
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Centaur Harry

Episode three of Library 34.

"Harry was raised as a centaur from an early age, contains Strong Harry, Creature Harry, HP/HG/OC and this story is completely au."

Posted July 24th, 2014
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One Word Titles Suck Balls

A one word title is when you just grab a word from the dictionary and slam it on your posters, not even having the grace to put 'the' in front. It happens a fair bit in movies but television is where this vile trend truly runs rampant.

Posted July 17th, 2014
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